I can honestly say that my twenties were the most carefree and selfish time of my life.

As a new mom, as horrible as it sounds, I shamefully wished I could go back to those days more times than I care to admit.

You see, before I had children, I had no idea how hard it would be – I mean ZERO idea.  I knew my life would be different and priorities would shift but after years of watching my mom lose herself to her children – I swore to myself that would not be me.

I was going to do things differently and was not going to let the fact that I was a mom change how I took care of myself.

I was always going to make myself a priority.

Uhhh, yeah I was drinking the kool-aid.

Fast forward to my thirties when I became a mom of two and found myself working full-time in a high stress job with a husband who traveled constantly.  I was now in this world where I felt everything fell on my shoulders.

Not only was I responsible for keeping my life in check, I now was emotionally and physically responsible for two little beings.  Life became all about multitasking and constant prioritizing.

Somehow though, I always seemed to feel that physically and emotionally I was at the bottom of the priority list. The pressure of managing it all while trying to do it PERFECTLY was really starting to take its toll on my children, my marriage, and myself.

I found myself in a cycle of going 90 miles an hour all day long and ending the evening with wine.  I was no longer taking care of my body the way I should and it showed.  My clothes didn't fit me the same and I was no longer comfortable in my own skin,

I felt overwhelmed, under appreciated, resentful and completely misaligned with how I wanted to live my life. That’s when I knew I had to make a change.

When I turned 40, I decided this was my time to make the changes I so desperately craved. I made a conscious decision to put down all of the things that were not serving me. I wanted to really use this monumental birthday as a reason to take back my power and make myself a priority.

I knew the best way to show up for my family was to first show up for myself.  I dove deep into my spirituality and started connecting with my higher power.  I started searching out exercise that fed my soul and food that nourished my body.

It wasn’t until I started to go inward to discover what really lit me up, did I start to feel like me again.

As a part of my journey, the one practice that had a huge impact was learning how to slow down and meditate.  I know that meditation can be difficult for some – it was for me at first too!

But starting off slow and following these basic guidelines to get you going was a huge starting point for me. 

Until next time, 

Amber x