The Wellness Revolution Podcast with Amber Shaw

TWR 112: Stop Suppressing Your Emotions and Learn to Validate What You Are Feeling with Jesse Finkelstein

As a result of the pandemic as well as prior to it, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse have increased, and it is vital that people, especially women, talk openly about these topics so that we can live a meaningful life free of shame around our emotions.

In this episode, Jesse Finkelstein, PsyM, joins the podcast to have an open dialogue about mental health, including how we can understand our emotions, what to do when we are feeling hard emotions, and how we are all constantly changing.

Jesse discusses the issues he sees with the mental health community regarding its treatment of women and the lack of accessibility to effective mental health care. He also shares some of his expertise on how we can better manage our emotions through utilizing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy techniques, including mindfulness.

Key highlights

  • Jesse talks about how the mental health community and society views women and the ways in which womens’ experiences are pathologized, leading most women to feel shame around the topic.
  • All of our emotions are valid, and we do ourselves a disservice when we try to tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel something. Jesse discusses how important it is to look at our emotions without judgment.
  • Emotional suppression is not sustainable and is a waste of internal resources. Denying and invalidating our emotions furthers us from our goals.
  • Jesse shares the most powerful thing you can do when you are feeling hard emotions.
  • Give yourself some grace. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and the tools they have.
  • How do DBT skills apply to partnerships? How should we respond when our partner or loved one is having intense emotions?
  • Jesse shares the three interpersonal effectiveness skills involved in DBT
  • The importance of identifying what dysregulation in emotions looks like for you and being aware of when you are becoming dysregulated. Jesse also talks about how to get through intense dysregulation without making the situation worse.
  • How Jesse helps his clients tap into their voice. He explains what practicing mindfulness looks like and how to do it.
  • It is a fact that our brains are malleable and changeable. We can always do better.

Powerful Quotes

“The foundation of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is mindfulness. It is very hard to know if you are at an 8 or if you’re at a 6 if you are not mindful of your experience.”

“You can practice mindfulness when you are washing your dishes. You can practice it as you’re walking down the street. Mindfulness is not necessarily about relaxation. It is really training your brain to be present. The more present we are, the more skillful we can be in other areas of our life.”

“It takes time and practice, and our brains are malleable. We can, with effort, and by changing habit, rewire our neurons to engage in a more meaningful life. This is not impossible. We have the flexibility.”

Episode resources:

Connect with Jesse:

Instagram: @talkisgood


Connect with Amber

Instagram: @msambershaw 

TikTok: @msambershaw